Thursday, January 21, 2010

Shimmering Discourses -- The Ricky S Chronicles

The Name

Hi. Myself, Ricky. Ricky S. First of all let me thank P-Man for letting me guest-write on his blog. It's a pleasure and I'm sure you must be excited too. I hope to be a regular here, assuming good response.

As you may all know, I am here to offer guidance; life lessons, if you will. Since this is my first lecture here, let me start by talking a bit more about myself.

My name is actually Ramalingam Swaminathan. I decided to call myself Ricky S. Not Ram, not Raman; not even Lingam. But Ricky. Two reasons actually, and these should, by themselves, teach you a thing or two for today.

Reason one: there was a telephone conversation I had with a call center rep for servicing my broken VHS player. Just so you know, I was, and continue to be, a major gadget freak. Speaking of which, a word of advice: watch out for the CD player. It's going to be the next big thing in technology. You can save music in this new format called .wav and you'll never look back at cassettes again. I could brag and say you heard it here first, but I digress.

So, back in 2000, when my state of the art Sony VCR broke down, I wanted to make sure I got my point across and demand a replacement part. After spending a good hour waiting on the line I finally found a representative to talk to. She asked me my name. [Oh, and before I forget, this was back when I was in the US. I still am in the US but more on that some other time.]

"Hello, may I know your first and last name please?" she asks.

"Ramalingam Swaminathan," I tell her.

"Er, excuse me, sir, can you spell that out for me please?"

"Sure," I said. And I began. "R as in Rambo, A as in Alpha, M-- um, um..."

Now, it wasn't so much the having-to-spell-out-my-name part that was challenging. It was having to decide first what a certain letter stood for, and then having to spit out the appropriate word. I am a stickler, like that only. For example: have you ever been to an enormous all-you-can-eat buffet only to have a brain freeze upon seeing the choice of food on offer? Yes? Precisely.

I wasn't sure if I should say 'M as in mango', or 'M as in Mandy'. I mean, what would she think of my personality if I were to say mango? Wouldn't she think I'm a perv or something? Or why would a testosterone-filled manly man, like myself, say Mandy? Isn't that, um, a bit queer? Just some of the thoughts swirling in my head. Having to pick the right word association for each alphabet was far too much even for me. But I still gave it a shot.

"M as in Mahadevan," I blurted.

"Er, N?"

"No ma'am, M-- sigh! Um, let me start over."

Never before was my mind filled with so much doubt. I even forgot the spelling now; lost my train of thought. In a fit of pique, I banged the receiver down.

"Screw this VCR!" I said to myself. I was going to buy a CD player.

The next morning I decided I was going to change my name to something that reflected my personality. So I changed it to Ricky S.

And I became a man.

The second reason, you ask? Well, it just is a very cool name, isn't it? It's very trendy and classy.

So here's a lesson folks: if you ever have doubts about yourself, there's a good chance it could be your name. Start with your name. If that doesn't work, well, maybe you never really were cut out for greatness in the first place.

Now go home. Think about it. And if you've decided to change your names, do not change it on your own. Instead, buy my three-part cassette series titled, "Name your success." It will help you choose your name, I promise. It consists of a list of names that you can pick and guarantees you success.

Thank you, and remember, think big!


Ricky S is a new media consultant and considered -- in the words of the Royal Telegraph -- "a visionary thinker... the greatest since Che Guevara." For further background please read: Who is this Ricky S guy anyway?
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