Monday, January 17, 2005

Just one more story…

The Big Fight.


"Okay!" cried the referee. "Here are the rules...

Rule 1: You cannot use your hands or legs to strike your opponent.

Rule 2: You cannot strike your opponent in his privates of other sensitive areas like his stomach. Rule 3: You MUST NOT attempt to psyche out your opponent by playing mind games or by proving your superiority in vocabulary or intellect.

Rule 4: Try being creative. Have I made myself clear?"

The referee looks to his left first, he sees an affirmative nod from Ochiri. He then turns to his right and sees Pikrik nodding away in the negative indicating that he hadn't understood one bit and in the process flaunting his inferior mental faculty. The referee, whose face showed the fatigue one gets, after barking out the rules of the Big Fight for the fourth time, was understandably irritated. So he ignored Pikrik and called for the fight to begin. "Tring! Tring!" went the bell signifying the start of the game. Suddenly Pikrik sticks out his head brings it close to Ochiri and with an eagle like presicion, bites off the right ear of Ochiri. Ochiri faints in pain. "Tring! Tring!" went the bell signifying the end of the game.

"Welcome to the Big Fight. The greatest challenge in the history of... WE HAVE A WINNER!".

As obvious, due to the instantaneous nature of the Big Fight the commentator who had barely started introducing the 'wrestlers' had to cut short his introductory formalities and jump to the 'we have a winner' part.There was excitement all around. Only two people were not aware of what was going on. Ochiri, as he had already fainted... and Pikrik (who by the way, was the winner) as he wasn't quick mentally. A press conference followed soon which is dramatized for convenience:

Press: Mr. Pikrik, how does it feel to be the winner of the championship?
Pikrik:[expressing ignorance]"Who won? What championship?"

This was taken to be instant wit of the highest quality and huge volumes of articles praising his sense of humour were subsequently published.

Press:"How did you plan your game? How did you organise your thoughts?"

Pikrik:"I don't think. Actually I can't think. Someone told me that. I don't know what it was. It had something to do with some inner instinct or something. I don't know."

There was pindrop silence in the room where he was briefing the media. Pikrik was already a hero, like all previous champions. A champion of a Big Fight cannot be an ordinary individual. But to see the champion himself preach, that too for free... It was too good. Such words of wisdom rarely come very often. It was for the discerning to grab it and understand. People gave it names like peace, tranquility and whatever.

After three days, something called Transcendental Meditation was born.

* * *


This is the last of the stories that I will publish. Because I realise that if I overdo the storytelling bit, then probably it might start getting on my poor readers' nerves.

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